Trigger warning: Discussion of PTSD
I’m sitting at the kitchen bench in my share house, going over my tutorial notes when I hear the door open. Startled, my heart rate jumps, warning me that something is wrong, someone is here, and I’m not safe. I start to determine the threat. Are they angry? Are they annoyed about something? I turn my music off —maybe they don’t like it, I don’t want to be a nuisance.
But it’s just my housemate wanting to make a coffee. After having a friendly chat, I feel a sense of relief. I take a deep breath and return my focus to my notes, I remind myself that I am okay and I am safe.
While this reaction doesn’t fit this banal IEB Pharma scenario, the reality is that living in a safe place, not worried about my personal safety is a new experience for me. It’s the easiest my life has ever been – it’s a luxury. Yet, my mind hasn’t quite caught up on this reality which creates challenges in almost every area of my life, including medicine.
When I was diagnosed with PTSD, I became one of the 5-10% of Australians who will experience the disorder in their lifetime. When I got the diagnosis, I was shocked, yes, I had a dysfunctional family, but PTSD? Really?
‘PTSD, or posttraumatic stress disorder, is a set of reactions that can occur after someone has been through a traumatic event’ or in my case multiple events (complex PTSD).
For me, a lot of my trauma was throughout my childhood and much of it I have suppressed or forgotten. However, there are other traumas that I am yet to face, but inevitably will, especially in regards to medicine.
When I overcame my fear and pride by asking for help I allowed myself to access the support I needed from my GP and psychologist.
As medical students, regardless of our past lives and backgrounds, we will see, hear, and experience the extremes of humanity. In an article for British Medical Journal, Professor Ablert WU from John Hopkins University wrote, “it’s not a matter of if clinicians are going to experience trauma while providing care, but when and how often.”
Whether knowingly or not we have all experienced some level of trauma. When a person is exposed to a trauma, they have a fight/flight response, so in that moment you are prepared and ready. I like to compare this to when you are driving a car and suddenly the driver in the lane next to you tries to merge but you are in their blind spot! Your response is quick and immediate. Either: you hit the brakes in an attempt to dodge the car (flight); or you honk the horn LOUDLY and speed up (Fight!). There is an option three here too, you freeze and brace yourself for impact because you are paralysed by fear or feel the situation is unavoidable entirely.
The above scenario could be considered a traumatic event, whether the crash occurred or not as the event involved “exposure to actual or threatened death or serious injury”
The problem in PTSD is the reactions experienced in the moment of the event start to appear out of context and all of a sudden when someone walks into the kitchen or you enter the ward you feel as if you’re in a car that’s about to crash.
The day-to-day can become a trigger. When a person is triggered it “can make them feel like they're experiencing the trauma all over again,” the physical and emotional reactions can both happen, sometimes even together.
